NorEast Fishing Forum banner

Would you still fish?

1111 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  daShark
A friend at work, who finds funny the way I rush out the door to get in 15 to 20 minutes of fishing on my lunch break, sent me the following article today. It might be time to start fishing with handgrenades. Reported by Dave Barry of Newsday.

Dave Barry

Now Playing, the Blair Fish Project

August 26, 2002

We are about to blow a golden opportunity, here.

I'm talking about the Northern Snakeheads, which sounds like the name of a rock band that eats live hamsters on stage, but which are actually fish.

But this is not just any fish. The Northern Snakehead is a very special fish - what marine biologists refer to, technically, as "an 'X-Files' type of fish." Here are some true Northern Snakehead facts that I am not making up.

Fact: It has a snakelike head filled with sharp teeth, is an extremely aggressive eater and can grow to be 3 feet long.

Fact: It can use its fins to crawl on land.

Fact: It can breathe air and survive out of water for three days - nearly two days longer than Michael Jackson!

Fact: Its home stomping grounds are northern Thailand and Myanmar, where, according to an article from Reuters, people believe that "a Snakehead fish is a reincarnated sinner."

Fact: A lot of us seriously question whether there is any such place as Myanmar.

Fact: Likewise Reuters. But there is no question that the Northern Snakehead exists, because it has invaded the United States. You may have seen the news reports about the discovery of juvenile Northern Snakeheads (we know they are juveniles, because they wear their hats backward) in a pond in Maryland.

Discussion Question: What is the deal with Maryland? Wasn't Maryland also the location of "The Blair Witch Project" tragedy, in which a group of annoying, yet somehow irritating, young filmmakers got lost in the woods and filmed themselves wandering around getting whacked by an evil supernatural hag who soon had the complete support of the movie audience? But be that as it may - and, like you, I have no idea what that phrase actually means - the fact remains that the Northern Snakehead is on the loose in this country. This has wildlife officials very concerned, because the Northern Snakehead is sometimes called "the male college student of the marine community" - eating everything in its path and then moving on to the next food source, leaving only devastation behind. As The Washington Post put it, the Northern Snakehead "can make short work of a pondful of sunfish, crappies and pickerel - and then shimmy on to other ponds on its belly and fins."

Discussion Question: Crappies? So anyway, Maryland wildlife officials are desperately trying to kill off the Northern Snakeheads. The Bush administration has also gotten involved, issuing a ban that prohibits Northern Snakeheads from entering the country, or, if they are already here, from exercising stock options.

So it looks as though the wildlife authorities will eradicate this dangerous pest. On behalf of all Americans, I say to these officials: Are you crazy? You're blowing the perfect chance to inject some excitement into the "sport" of fishing, which has degenerated into a pathetically unfair competition:

On the one side, you have the most advanced species on Earth (humans), equipped with graphite rods, alloy reels, computer-designed lures, chemically enhanced bait, copolymer line, sonar fish locators and vests with upwards of 50 Velcro-flapped pockets.

On the other side, you have - crappies. Is that fair? A guy with thousands of dollars worth of high-tech equipment against a worm-eating creature with the IQ of broccoli? Listen, wildlife authorities: Instead of destroying the Northern Snakehead, we should improve it. We need a Snakehead Enhancement Project, in which these fish are genetically mutated via exposure to radiation, toxic waste and Mountain Dew. We need to develop a Snakehead that is bigger, meaner, toothier and - above all - faster.

Think what this would do for the sport of fishing! You know those TV fishing shows, the ones starring smug, chunky men who act as though it's a big exciting deal when they win a "fight" with a bass that weighs less than any given one of their tobacco wads? Well, imagine tuning in to one of these shows and seeing one of these guys sprinting desperately away from the water, waders flapping, pursued by a hungry, ticked-off, amphibious eating machine with a mouth like a grand piano, the soul of a reincarnated sinner and a cruising speed, on land, of 45 miles per hour.

That's right - it's time to even the scales (har)! It's time these fishermen had to play some defense! If you agree with me, please gather up as much cash as you can humanly stuff into an envelope and send it to: Snakehead Enhancement Project, c/o me. I will personally see to it that all of the money, every single nickel of it, gets spent. Please act now, before somebody else has this idea. Do it for sportsmanship. Do it for conservation. And above all do it because, if you don't, the witch will get you.

Copyright © 2002, Newsday, Inc.
See less See more
1 - 1 of 5 Posts
snakehead as alien as it looks

Story @

Warning: Kill This Fish If You Catch One

July 10, 2002

By KOMO Staff & News Services

NATIONWIDE - There is a monster hunt :( under way across the country. The 'monster' in this case is a peculiar fish that can also travel on land, is extremely aggressive and always hungry.

This fish, called a Northern Snakehead comes from China. Nobody knows how it got here. They've been caught in several areas across the country, the latest in Maryland. But wildlife officials say if you spot one anywhere, do more than just kill it.

Posters have been hoisted in Maryland urging anyone who catches one of the ugly little fish to "slice it into little pieces, please kill it, cut it, bleed it."

"We may have to get more aggressive," said Eric Schwaab with the Maryland Department of Natural Resources.

The Northern Snakehead grows to more than three feet. It devours anything it can with its razor teeth, and can clear a pond of all native species. Before it looks elsewhere, it can crawl out of water and wiggle across land, breathing air with its primitive lungs for three days.

"I was scared 'cuz we had to put our feet in the water when we were paddling out, and there was a big green blob just coming through under the water," said 11-year-old Mark Gillespie. "It looked like a little shark."

Several adult Snakeheads have been caught. At least two have been thrown back. And eight baby Snakeheads have been found, which would indicate they're reproducing.

Not good.

Wildlife officers are trying electric shock waves, special traps, anything to contain the Snakehead.

Anybody out fishing this summer is urged to keep an eye out and if you catch one, do not -- repeat, do NOT -- throw it back.

Good fishing to all :):):):):):):):)
See less See more
1 - 1 of 5 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.