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Q: What do you call an Eagle Scout with a crew cut?
A: A bald eagle.

Scoutmaster: "Tenderfoot, how did you get that black eye?"
Tender Foot: "Sir, I was hit by a guided muscle with a knucklear warhead!"

Scoutmaster: The only way to acquire a new skill is to start at the bottom.
Tender Foot: But I want to learn to swim
 

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Top Ten Reasons you might be a Boy Scout

10.You can say fleur-de-lis and know what one is and occasionally are wearing one

9. You have done a whipping and a lashing with no physical harm to anyone.

8. You know how to speak in a native tongue Wimachtendienk, Wingolauchsik, Whitahemui.

7. Your shoes are tied with a square knot so the bow goes across them.

6. You work on camp staff for less wages than flipping burgers at McDonalds to meet girls on
parents night.

5. You're sleeping in a tent and you are not homeless.

4. You're all dressed up and ready to go out, and have an American flag on your clothing.

3. You're higher than a star because you're an eagle.

2. You help a little old lady across the street without hearing the words "HELP! PURSE
SNATCHER!".

1. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flashlight
 
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