Mako Matt-Andrew and All
I was happily getting some chores done today at home when I got a call from Andrew telling me how wonderful Mako Matt was in keeping my name anonymous. Thank you Mako Matt-but I am ready to "tell it all" in the area of creative ladies underwear lure making.
Yes, I am the guy that utilized my girlfriend's undergarments in my "spread"
Please take this post off if you think it not appropriate, but me making lures out of ladies underwear is absolutely the truth-in fact I still have one of the lures on the boat today.
I took a few un-skirted silver jet-heads when it became obvious to me that the action and color of a lure had more to do with catching fish than going out and spending a fortune on these custom-made overpriced works of art that were meant to catch fishermen, but oftentimes do not do as well in catching fish.
In the area of the underwear product development, I made three lures up.
Number one, was a beautiful purple-laced bra. I will go out to the boat later to check cup size, since precise measurements are most important in this most titillating area. If I can figure out how to post a photo of it, and if anyone wishes to see it, I will do so.
I took some white tie wraps and strongly fastened the purple bra to the jet-head. It was quite good at catching, but not as good as lure number two.
Lure number two was made from a beautiful pair of pantyhose-size small, and it was a magnificent swirl pattern of orange with red and a bit of glowing fire to it. Kind of like zucchini colored magnificent specimen of pantyhose. This was a brand-new pair I took from my girlfriend-and I did a similar attachment onto a jet-head with the tie wraps before we left the dock. That lure performed quite well, better than the purple bra-but the best was yet to come.
After losing that magnificent pantyhose lure on a Wahoo, I did not have any more pantyhose material on the boat, plus I was obsessed with finding the same exact pattern and colors.
Being a fisherman who is totally dedicated to the quest of excellence, and never giving up-I searched high and low for some similar material on the boat that trip and came up with nothing, no pantyhose at all. I thought of putting out a distress call on the VHF radio looking for another pair of pantyhose, but I felt it would not do much for my reputation as a caveman, looking for pantyhose at the Hudson Canyon.
It was then that I realized that my girlfriend who was on that overnighter, was wearing the exact same pantyhose-and the moment of truth was upon me. I kindly asked her if she could sacrifice the pantyhose she was wearing in order for me to make another lure. At first she rejected my advances-but through some intimate "persuasion"-I finally secured my prized pantyhose.
I have witnesses to a testify that when I made up the same lure with her used pantyhose, the catch rate of that lure was absolutely incredible! We had to beat the tuna away from the back of the boat!
Although I could not verify for sure, all the fish we did catch on that used pantyhose lure were males, except for one that looked strangely similar to Rosie O'Donnell.
There are still plenty of mysteries in the deep sea-from Giant squid, to the unknown species in the Sea of Cortez-the disappearances in the Bermuda triangle. And to those great mysteries of the deep we must add the unknown power of female pheromones. Heaven knows those pheromones work beautifully on land- and going all the way back to the time of Helen of Troy, to modern Presidents of the United States, the road of life is littered with the agony and the ecstasy of this most incredible and awesome power on Earth !!!
Good fishing-and may this post make your winter days just a bit shorter and more enjoyable until the magnificent pleasure of traveling the open seas fills out hearts again.
Mike-Desire
