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A Fly Fisherman’s Year
Article posted on: Dec/04/00
author: By Brian Conklin
(howto@noreast.com)
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January brings clear days,
Of whites and of blues,
With frost on the windows
And ice under shoes.
It’s off to the Great Lakes,
For salmon with spunk!
But ice freezes his rod guides.
And he comes home with skunk.
February comes next,
And the frost it does thicken.
It’s time for the fishing shows!
Our angler’s pulse quickens.
He sees acres of gadgets there,
And mountains of gear.
But he can’t afford anything
At this time of year!
Spring, it draws nigh.
The next season comes closer,
By now he is suffering
Pescatoria Nervosa.
All his hook points, he has honed,
And tied all of his flies.
He now counts swirls in the bathtub,
and maps out the lies.
With April, trout season
Arrives at long last!
He can’t wait to get out there
to lose the flies he’s amassed.
To wave the long rod!
The stream’s flagellation!
But in Jersey with the in-laws
He spends his vacation.
In May the shad so brightly
Swim up the long river,
but his wife’s made him other plans.
He tries hard to forgive her.
The lawn now needs mowing,
Nearly three times a week.
And the gutters need mending.
They’re starting to leak!
Then there’s Mother’s Day, Father’s Day,
The Fourth of July!
All cleverly designed
To knock fishing plans awry!
Dreams of summer weekends spent fishing,
Vanish like haze.
There’s that big Honey-Do List
And our angler dismays.
A conspiracy of wife and of entropy,
Of calendars and kin!
I’ve not fished in ages,
And the stripers are in!
September’s days come.
The fish run amok,
but beach-blitzing bluefish,
Is not in his luck
October brings bonito,
And albies in close.
He gets his best chance,
For his last fishing dose.
He casts the right fly correctly,
To school after school,
But with nary a nibble,
He feels quite the fool!
With the storms of November,
All the gamefish head south.
Our would-be angler,
grows long in the mouth.
But then in December,
What’s that under the tree?
A new reel and fly line, a rod?
All for me?
But they’re wrapped with a schedule
Of all of the things
That will eat up his weekends
Beginning next spring!
And this Do-List is longer!
There’s new entries there!
Driveway resealing.
A new cellar stair!
At least there’s no new holidays,
he sighs to himself.
I think family gatherings
Are bad for my health!
There’s no Mammal or Fungi Day,
No Feast of St. Rolph!
And I guess another good thing is . .
I never took up golf!
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| Some of these articles have been gathered from the archives of Nor'east Saltwater and all references to size and bag limits may be out of date. Be sure to check the regulations section of our website for the latest regulations in your area. |
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